So now we're
going to take you through a series of baby steps that will open the
door to your true chemicals so that you can establish yourself as
a Man With Foreign Genetic Diversity Chemicals suitable for inciting
the desire for pregnancy-causing activities in Attractive Members
of the Opposite Sex.
Take a deep
breath. And plunge right in.
Liberation Step #1: Geekiness.
heard me right. Geekiness. Now some of you Nice Guys are not very geeky.
Some of you are downright anti-geeky, appearing on the surface to be
instead Normal and Well-Adjusted. Some of you are loathe to consider
yourself geeky, considering it bad social news. Too fucking bad.
in touch with your Inner Geek and get in touch with him now. You
have one. Everyone does. Both sexes. If you have hopelessly obscured
him with Adaptive Social Masking Chemicals, then you are just going
to have to dig through your inner closets and drag him out into the
light by his geeky pant belt loops and display him to the Object of
Your Desire. No geek, no sex. Find him. Display him.
this is going to be easy for some of you and hard for others, we are
going to walk through this. Some of you will be initially reluctant
to believe that you need to be geeky to improve your love life. We'll
explain it for you. Relax, it's easier than being an asshole and you
will get the hang of it in no time.
Defined. Geekiness is an Irrational Enthusiasm for something
that no one else in their right fucking mind gives a shit about.
obscure band that no one's heard of. Backyard astronomy. Baseball.
Vintage cars. Perl programming. A stupid video game. Batman memorabilia.
One of the Beatles. Differential equations. Foreign policy. The American
West. World War II airplanes. Japanese culture. Minor league hockey.
Geology. Egyptian beetles. Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.
Movie posters. Russian comic books. Your cats. Skiing. Meg Ryan. The
flute. Tori Amos. Horror movies. Science fiction. J.D. Salinger. American
Expressionism. Yo-yos. Economic theory. Stratocasters. The history
of salt. Pomeranians. Horticulture. Armenian history. Ed Wood. Antique
furniture. First editions. Alfred Hitchcock. Great defensive linemen
of history. Kurt Vonnegut. Probability theory. Eastern religions.
Action figures. And so on.
have a wide variety of choices as to what to be geeky about. You
are not in any way constrained by standard geeky interests such as
math, science, computers, anime, Star Trek, video games and so on.
Nor are you constrained by standard male geeky interests such as sports,
cars, sports, and cars. You can be a geek about anything in the whole
wide fucking world as long as it is an Irrational Enthusiasm.
It's the Irrational Enthusiasm that's chemically important. (I am
going to suggest however, that you not start out your attempts to
improve your love life by developing a geeky interest in Internet
porn or supermodels or Victoria's Secret catalogs, strippers, and
so on. These things will work as well as anything else, but they will
push you way further into geekiness than you need to go to be successful.
If you already possess an Irrational Enthusiasm for these things,
I am going to suggest that you choose to develop a Subsidiary Geeky
Interest to display to the woman of your dreams. Start slow.)
Objection and Urban Myth: Geeks don't get laid.
particular myth is a major impediment for some of you. You naturally
and actually quite sensibly think to yourself when you see some geek
loser drooling over his collection of Batman memorabilia from the
1960's that 'this sucker is never going to get laid.' You reason
to yourself, 'no woman's going to be interested in this stupid immature
Batman shit. It's socially unattractive and makes this pathetic loser
look like a...pathetic loser.'
makes sense but you are partly wrong. No, most attractive normal
women are not going to have any interest in a stupid and jaw-droppingly
vast collection of idiotic Batman figurines. But that doesn't
mean their sex brains aren't going to detect the presence of Foreign
Chemicals and start drooling. In fact, attractive women throw themselves
at geeks all the time and often attempt to marry them. Many geeks
(and closet geeks) are actually happily married. Very happily because
they count themselves lucky that anyone would tolerate them. It
only looks like geeks don't get laid for a couple of reasons.
#1 - excessive geeks are often so busy being excessively geeky
that they don't notice the attractive women trying desperately to
signal their interest in a pregnancy opportunity and therefore completely
miss out. This is a hazard of being a thorough-going geek. Also,
many geeks are shy and reluctant to display their true geekiness around
women which cuts their opportunities dramatically. Finally, when true
thorough-going geeks set their sights on a woman, they often are unable
to modulate their Foreign Chemicals and end up blasting her full throttle
with excessive quantities. This sets off the dangerous War Foreign
Clump Fear of Getting Raped and General Desire to Flee syndrome and
the women run from them as fast as their frightened little legs will
carry them. This is what you have noticed and what you want to avoid.
Don't worry. You aren't going to do that. Not by a long shot. Your
social masking chemicals aren't going to let you for one thing. Also,
you are going to implement a more considered and rational Geek strategy.
Geekiness Works in Attracting Women: It bypasses the Social Brain.
fact that the geekiness module in your head bypasses the Social Brain
when it gets activated is exactly why Geeks are often socially awkward
and even physically clumsy. The Irrational Enthusiasm starts bubbling
over and all sorts of processing is done inside the brain that doesn't
require the Social Brain at all. It is Social Brain-free processing.
Let's say, for example, you are deeply involved in calculating obscure
baseball statistics and comparing various Your Players against various
Historical Players. Notice that when you do this, you are almost completely
isolated in yourself as your brain hums along making important connections
between historical players and your players. You are not really aware
of anything very well when you are all wrapped up in geekiness and
your ability to express yourself may even decrease, or you will get
so wrapped up in an argument on the merits of various obscure bands
so that you're not really even aware of your environment. You tune
everything out while your brain furiously processes its Irrational
Enthusiasm. You become awkward, your arms wave, you concentrate, things
within your area of geeky interest seem beautiful and fascinating
and important and the real world pales in comparison. This is exactly
what you want.
your Social Brain has been bypassed, it is therefore unable to throw
up those social masking chemicals that make you seem like someone's
brother and not like someone they'd like to throw on the couch and ravish.
Your chemicals are out of control and on display when you are geeky.
You want that. You can't hide your true self when you are geeky.
That's why you are so reluctant to go there around women - unless it's
with a female geek that you don't want to sleep with. Yet, because your
processing of the outside world is impaired when you are in geek mode,
you are temporarily vulnerable when a geek - and vulnerability is
sexy. Develop it!
Warning: Snottiness Chemicals.
Your Social Brain
is intensely bored by your geek enthusiasms. Just like any normal person
would be. It is so bored by your interest in backyard astronomy that
it puts its hands over its ears and goes running out of the room. This
is good, because you get it out of your fucking way. But - when the
Social Brain doesn't have anything to do, it sits around amusing itself
by thinking of critical and nasty things to say about other people.
This is one of its favorite hobbies when it's in a bad mood because
it's bored or whatever. This leads to Geek Snottiness. You see
this all the time. Someone's into their favorite obscure band, but it's
not enough to be into it, they have to be intensely fucking critical
of anyone who likes any other band. Snowboarding geeks develop strong
opinions on snowboards and develop vicious rivalries with people who
like the wrong kind of snowboard or technique or geographical area or
any other fucking thing you can think of. Intense geekiness often
produces intense snottiness, particularly when your Social Brain
has nothing else to amuse itself with.
Add this to the
fact that geekiness releases chemicals, which in male people often gets
the testosterone all jazzed up, which then wants to pick a territorial
fight with other males just for fun and you get obsessive Critical
Geeky Snottiness Arguments That Never Fucking End. Two words to
describe this scenario as it relates to your love life. Bad! Wrong!
You can argue with the woman of your dreams about politics if that's
your geeky interest, but it must be a mild, enthusiastic argument based
primarily on your rightness and not primarily based on criticism. Naturally,
a little bit of her wrongness will get mixed in there, which can be
helpful in releasing chemicals, but you have to be careful with this.
She can't be an opponent you annihilate. She can be a worthy opponent
who often scores many points, but you can't snottiness her out of existence.
And if you are going to argue with her, for god's sake argue so irrationally
that even she can see you're clearly insane. If you don't get irrational
it's not going to work.
In other words,
forget the geeky snottiness when you are displaying your geekiness
to attractive females. It will take you down totally the wrong track.
Snottiness chemicals are Social Brain chemicals and they will obscure
your genetic diversity chemicals and the woman will completely give
up on you. You will repel her. Drop the snottiness. No criticality.
Draw a big universal No sign through your natural snottiness impulses.
- Yes! to enthusiastically
babbling about your favorite band beyond all human endurance.
- No! to criticizing
other bands and other people's tastes.
- Yes! to Irrational
- No! to Snottiness.
This is a major
fucking stumbling block for some of you. Actually, you can
develop bonding around Snottiness and you can definitely bond with
female geeks around snottiness and you can even develop a wild sexual
attraction around snottiness. But it will never fucking pay
off in the long run. Snottiness chemicals are false chemicals and
produce false bonding. (However! You are allowed one bonus
freebie Snottiness Bonding Female Geek Wild Sexual Affair. Indulge!)
is a Critically Important First Step in Breaking the 'Friendship' Syndrome:
It establishes you as a Male.
You need to understand
how people tell the difference between men and women for sex brain
purposes. You would think it's fairly obvious but it's not. And one
of the things that happens when your social masking chemicals kick
in around women you are attracted to is that they make you appear
gender-neutral - like a regular person and not like a male.
as they develop sex brain chemicals, are pre-set to orient themselves
by establishing Like Me and Not Like Me categories. For a woman, Like
Me means normal, sensible, rational, predictable, and easy to understand.
Because that's what human brains consider themselves to be in spite
of all the available evidence.
So normal, sensible,
rational, predictable and easy to understand people are Like Me and
are therefore women. If they are clearly not women, then they are
gender-neutral Regular People. Because she and other women are Regular
People according to the default brain setting. Each person thinks
their own sex defines Regular People. In order to detect the presence
of the opposite sex then, the person in question must detect something
abnormal, senseless, irrational, unpredictable, and completely incomprehensible.
Until you display this kind of behavior, her sex brain will never
believe you are a man. There will be ongoing confusion on the
part of her sex brain on this point until you clearly and firmly
establish your complete fucking lack of sense. Geekiness is your
best bet in this regard. As you have noticed, being an asshole works
also, but that carries other hazards and you're much more suited to
being a geek anyway.
I repeat: It
is imperative that you establish your sexual identity by acting like
a fool. You cannot skip this step. Acting stupid is courting behavior
and if you don't do it, her sex brain will never get a read on you.
Now I want you
to notice that you perform the same calculation regarding her (and
everyone else). One of the reasons you are attracted to her is that
she has inadvertently displayed stupid irrational geekiness of some
sort that you could never understand. Her geekiness is different from
yours, that's what makes her a woman. She uses some irrational form
of reasoning that only she could come up with. In many ways, she
may be a delightfully gender-neutral Regular Person, in fact that
may be one of your favorite things about her - but you would not be
attracted to her unless she was irrational, senseless and completely
fucking incomprensible in some way. Indeed, when you are around other
guys and one of them says or does something that you completely can't
understand, very often your sex brain will experience a sudden jolt
of fear as it perks its head up and says about that person 'You're
a woman!' This can be very surprising and lead to sudden defensive
behavior or what have you - but that's just because your sex brain
is set to detect the presence of the opposite sex by mental differentness
- even more than by outward physical characteristics.
Pretty goofy perhaps
- but it's just wise planning on your sex brain's part. It doesn't
know in advance how fashion is going to dictate that men and women
should look. You may be wearing kilts and she may be wearing a bundle
of clothing so thick you would never be able to tell what shape she
was. People decorate and disfigure themselves in so many imaginative
ways that physical appearance can't be relied upon - but chemicals
and mental differentness, those endure.
Okay, Mr. Nice
Guy. Now get out there and act like a geek. Act like a geek in front
of every person you can identify by mental differentness to be a woman.
Equip yourself with Geek Props, such as collectibles or a telescope
for your backyard astronomy or a Harley for your motorcycle obsession
and then proudly display it to her. Bore her out of her fucking
mind for half an hour by explaining in ruthlessly enthusiastic
detail all the accessories and detailing that went into your Harley.
Explain comets to her until a true astronomer would cry uncle. Lay
out in ruthless, enthusiastic detail your plan for improving American
Foreign Policy. Babble. Attempt to show her all 6000 of your Japanese
comic books. Wax nostalgic over all 80 of your Frank Zappa original
LPs, that's vinyl albums thank you very much, no CDs for a purist
like you. Wave your arms with delight as you explain how truly truly
wonderful and special your cats are. Recount their adorable adventures
And then ease
up. 30-40 minutes max of unrestrained enthusiasm and then you're done.
Back to your regular self. Social Mask away. Ask about her. Do something
normal like dinner and a movie. Converse about normal things. Be a
friend. Act like her brother. Adapt. Blend in. Harmonize. Be nice.
Be polite. Offer to help her move. Confuse her. Make her sex brain
think you're a man, make her conscious brain think you're a regular
person. Keep her on her toes. Rile up her chemicals until they want
to come spilling out in your direction. Make her think about you.
Make yourself hard to understand.
Once you've established
your geekiness, get normal, and then dip back into it briefly for
5 minute segments. Bring it up, get enthusiastic, and then drop it
cuz you're done. Make her think she can't stand you because you're
such a goddamn man and not a regular person and then make her think
maybe you are a nice guy. Talk about your enthusiasms, and then talk
about hers. Draw out her geekiness. Release her chemicals. Talk about
her enthusiasms and then about yours.
Don't expect her
to like your enthusiasms, support them, be interested in them, or
even listen to your explanations very politely. That's not what they're
there for. If you're really lucky, she will laugh at them. Laughter
indicates detection of a threat and then relaxation as the threat
is perceived to be minimal. Your enthusiasms are supposed to be threatening,
they signal your Foreignness. They are supposed to be funny as she
realizes she can live with them. Thread geekiness in and out of your
relationship. Laugh at her geekiness. Practice, practice, practice.
Okay, that's your
first step. Go in peace and don't worry about being an asshole Insufferable
Prick. You'll do fine. There's more to learn, but that's enough for
now. Master this one and your sex life will improve enough that you
may not even need any of the advanced techniques. Have fun. Be
Content, Unrelated Observations and Random Fucking Links:
that I have a girlfriend, how can I dump her?
Social Brain. Helpful by-product of evolution or your worst fucking
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